At a tender age of 11, my aching heart believed being treated unfairly hurt the most. Growing up with an aggressive teen sibling, being the middle child I then thought, feeling invisible hurt the most,
Years passing me by, while on a brink of becoming a puberty struck, overweight teen with abandonment issues I thought, carrying all that rage burning inside me hurt the worst,
Carrying the burden of responsibilities while having to become your own pseudo parent, being tough on yourself while pretending all the well to the outside world felt the worst,
Finally ridden off the teenage hormones, maturing into a semi- stable, partially functional adult grieving a loss of one among the only 2 unconditionally loving family members, hurt the worst,
Physically uprooting the self travelling to the other far corner of the world and then still watching another struggle for an opportunity to love and care for you, there trying to hold on to the one you love while they leave of exhaustion felt the worst,
Of all that pain and suffering, I sit here today and finally realize, none of that suffering was on par with what came after,
The Mother of all agony, all suffering, truly begins when you start Healing,
Reliving every bit of the anguish, every hurt from every loss, every ache from all the wounds, just so you learn to let it go is when one truly understands what Pain is….
Neither grief, no loss, no wound hurts more than that very moment, the split second moment, between two existing moments, less than a nano second after you choose to Heal, to Grow, to Metamorphosize….
….and that is a beautiful pain!